Ever looked in the mirror and felt a disconnect between the person staring back and the individual within? You're not alone. Join Carlos and Olivier for an episode filled with introspection and self-discovery. We'll lay bare the seldom discussed topic of self-image, unraveling how it influences daily decisions, from clothing choices to demeanor. We'll explore why some of us, particularly men, cloak ourselves in the safety of neutral colors like black, attempting to mask our true selves. Don't miss as we emphasize the power and significance of authenticity, and the confidence it brings when we show up in the world as our genuine selves.
Ever been your own harshest critic? We've all been there. Today, we shine a light on the struggle with image and authenticity and how judgment and fear can smother our self-esteem and spark up depression. We'll delve into how men often construct barriers through their style, demeanor, and actions, concealing their true feelings. We passionately believe that the most potent tool in our arsenal is authenticity, and we'll guide you on ways to embrace it.
Who's in control? You or your ego? In this thought-provoking discussion, we explore the complex role the ego plays in self-perception, how it fuels our anxiety and drives us to seek validation. We're here to help you regain control, nurturing a healthy relationship with your ego. Finally, we'll confront the disconnection between self-image and the persona we display to the world. Join us as we peel back the layers, revealing the authentic person beneath the suits and ties. We welcome your thoughts, questions, and ideas for future episodes because, together, we can chart this journey of self-discovery.
Thank you for listening. If you have an idea or message you'd like to share, send us a message: Olivier Egli and Carlos Basurto
Ever looked in the mirror and felt a disconnect between the person staring back and the individual within? You're not alone. Join Carlos and Olivier for an episode filled with introspection and self-discovery. We'll lay bare the seldom discussed topic of self-image, unraveling how it influences daily decisions, from clothing choices to demeanor. We'll explore why some of us, particularly men, cloak ourselves in the safety of neutral colors like black, attempting to mask our true selves. Don't miss as we emphasize the power and significance of authenticity, and the confidence it brings when we show up in the world as our genuine selves.
Ever been your own harshest critic? We've all been there. Today, we shine a light on the struggle with image and authenticity and how judgment and fear can smother our self-esteem and spark up depression. We'll delve into how men often construct barriers through their style, demeanor, and actions, concealing their true feelings. We passionately believe that the most potent tool in our arsenal is authenticity, and we'll guide you on ways to embrace it.
Who's in control? You or your ego? In this thought-provoking discussion, we explore the complex role the ego plays in self-perception, how it fuels our anxiety and drives us to seek validation. We're here to help you regain control, nurturing a healthy relationship with your ego. Finally, we'll confront the disconnection between self-image and the persona we display to the world. Join us as we peel back the layers, revealing the authentic person beneath the suits and ties. We welcome your thoughts, questions, and ideas for future episodes because, together, we can chart this journey of self-discovery.
Thank you for listening. If you have an idea or message you'd like to share, send us a message: Olivier Egli and Carlos Basurto
This is, let it Be Known. With Carlos and Olivier, we wanted to touch upon a very specific subject today and you brought that up last time. We recorded. What was that again?
Speaker 2:It was a secret that we keep in our pocket and you know, again, mainly speaking for myself as a man and I'm sure other men as well out there, but it's that one thing you said at first. But when you said it it just made me feel like exactly how, how it is, like it's something that I'll just keep in my pocket. It's my secret, and not because I don't want to tell anybody, it's just because I feel like I can't tell anybody because it's it's a very, very strong but scary subject, I guess, to really bring out. But yeah, it's just what what is your secret?
Speaker 2:you know what. What's the secret?
Speaker 1:Self image man. So self image meaning how you see yourself.
Speaker 2:How you see yourself, how you look at yourself, how you feel you know, or it's it's and it's crazy. People think like, oh, you know, you need, you're looking for validation from someone of what you're wearing. No, it's not really about, like the, the brand. We're not even talking about that. Yeah, I get that's always a topic like oh, people want to show off at the fancy brand, but we're not even talking about that. I'm going way deeper than that. That how you look and how you feel. So image like you look at yourself in the mirror and I know guys out there will never really express it too much, but we all know we look at ourselves in the mirror and you're not happy with yourself.
Speaker 1:Oh, so it's kind of like. You know, there's this thing that we do, that's called. We say I am right, I am, which is kind of the the, the two words that depict in the strongest way that we exist I as me, am, as being. So what is that being? Who is that being right?
Speaker 1:Yeah what image has that being? That being needs to have some kind of a brand. Yeah, it needs to be a brand, right? You brand yourself to have an image, because without an image, we feel we don't exist, we're shapeless. So we kind of like this random figure. So, but but I think that there's so much to that, right, because as a man, there's probably what you mean who we are supposed to be like who we're supposed to see.
Speaker 2:It's a number of things at least I'm speaking for myself, but it's a number of things. It's a number of things of like the first one I'll tell you you. You look at yourself and like what am I doing? Like really, like who am I and what am I doing? Do I look what I'm supposed to look? Like that's like that's my biggest one, and I don't think a lot of people notice this about me, and maybe they do, or they just don't anything but the only and it's crazy, I don't know how this kind of connects, but the only color of shirt that you ever see me wear is black.
Speaker 1:Black shirt.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, now that you say yeah, yeah, it's it's always black, and I don't know if that's something self-conscious or something where I feel like you could accept just a bold color. I don't know like it just.
Speaker 1:Oh, I see so like what we look, what we look like to the outside, how that reflects how we feel on the inside, or how there's a disconnect between the two.
Speaker 2:I think there's a disconnect between those two.
Speaker 1:So what is it in your case? What's the secret that you keep in your pocket?
Speaker 2:The secret is well, there's a number of topics to that secret, but to put it out there, the secret is is that is this color? And it's funny to say but is this this color? Will I be accepted with this color? And it's kind of hard to really explain that, but it seems like you can't go wrong. I guess you can say. I guess you can say this black goes with everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they say right, so yeah, so is that something that I feel that that's what I'm, it's it that's actually a good point. If you look at you, look at the vast majority there. Where's black? I wear a lot of black and I tend to wear more black now and it's actually I thought it was a subconscious decision. It's neutral, right? It's a neutral color. It doesn't really say much Right? So it makes you kind of invisible, it makes you or it makes you intransparent right opaque more than transparent.
Speaker 1:Right, it makes you you don't want to be red, you don't want to be easy to read or you don't want to show what's behind that blackness.
Speaker 1:I mean there's a thing to the self image. I think it's because, as you say, there's a disconnect between who we try to pretend to be as an actor in the world and who we then feel we are when we buy by ourselves. I would look through that window, that little window out into the world, and we hope that people will not notice that actually on the inside things are not as great as I'm trying to make them look on the outside. So you kind of try to prime over it with something that's neutral, that kind of maintains the safe distance. Because I think it goes back again to boldness. The people who really know who they are and who are in tune with their you know, with how they feel, what's going on in their lives, what they seek to express, they're relentless in showing that they're like look, I'm just one person. I can't play a, not play a role. I cannot play a role, I have to be me.
Speaker 1:So if that boldness means, you know, showing up a certain way, I'm gonna show up that way yeah but you need to be really free, you need to be really in tune with yourself and give yourself permission to show up as that person. It's the people that you know we tend to judge because we think they look odd or they they behave strangely, when really, for those who are not playing a role, that is honesty and expression. Right, there's a lot of honesty because fashions and trends in terms of self-image normalize people to all look the same, and that is a problem. Um, fashion is actually a problem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, brands are a problem, because association with a brand if you, as a man, associate with a certain brand, what you really do is you allow to be assimilated by the brand, you become an ambassador of that brand. But what you don't realize is that it's not you taking over the brand, it's the brand taking over you. It literally pulls itself over your skin, it becomes you, it covers your feet, it covers sometimes it covers your eyes, your head, because you're hiding, because you need an armor, because you need to protect yourself, defend yourself, because you want, because you are not a brand. The less you are your own brand, the more you need to associate with a brand. It's the same in politics.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, we look for association. It makes us feel like we're belonging, we're being heard and there's something that we can follow. Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:No, it's crazy how you say that, because the brand starts making you versus you make the brand, type of thing, and that's a good point. I'm being open right now because that's the whole concept, just to let it be known now. I mean, it's so. There's times where I've like look at this green shirt and I put it on, and of course, it's very natural for someone to look at yourself in the mirror. But when you look at yourself in the mirror, it changes something. And at first I thought maybe in security, meaning like, oh, maybe I don't look good, I'm overweight or I'm too scared, whatever the case may be, but I don't know. I started thinking more. It's more deep into that. Is this color gonna now make? Now? Is it? Am I supposed to act a different way? Is it gonna bring a certain thing to me now? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's crazy because I know a lot of guys won't talk about it, but I know women out there and ones I was married and yeah, they try on different outfits, they try this and this and that and I get it. That's something. But I mean guys go through the same thing. But I think for at least for me, it goes deeper into that, because it's like what am I? How do I feel good? And since I can't really find that spot, I feel like black is very, like you said, very natural, just very like yeah, let's get deeper into that.
Speaker 1:I think there's a lot to this, because you say what makes me feel good, and I think we can agree at this point that there is a lot of there's not a lot of clarity when it comes to like, what does feeling good mean? Because we talked about this in an earlier episode happiness and feeling good are attached to kind of the way we see the world. So if, as a man, we see the world as a battlefield, constant threats, we're exposed and vulnerable. We have to make sure that we're okay, we have to protect ourselves and we have to launch an attack when the opportunity presents itself. That is a mindset thing. But now, feeling good and being happy means to feel safe. It does not actually mean to feel good. It means to feel protected. It means to feel invulnerable. It feels to like feel yeah, you know, like kind of like in your high castle, surrounded by walls and unattainable for any missiles coming your way. But that then means that our image not the self image we have to differentiate between how we view ourselves and how we want the world to see us. Our image towards the outside should actually create that notion that we're unattainable, that we're safe, that we know how to protect ourselves. And for us, then, feeling good means to feel safe.
Speaker 1:So a green shirt makes you feel vulnerable, because when you have a mind, you know, when your mindset is kind of like wired to the outside, oh, what are others gonna think? Are they gonna judge me? Is this gonna make me look successful or is this gonna make me look like a little boy? Is this good on me? Does this, like bring out my good features or is it gonna promote my bad features? That is the fearful mind saying is this here gonna make us look successful, like we're winning the war, or is this gonna make us look like losers? And that's when Our brain has a tendency of protecting us, not by telling you this shirt makes you look a certain way. It just makes you feel a certain way. It doesn't. The brain doesn't have words for it is like don't do that. It just tells you I feel uncertain about this color. Maybe we shouldn't wear this color. I feel kind of strange.
Speaker 1:You know, that that's what you feel, then right.
Speaker 2:And it's crazy, because, now that you're saying about being safe, you're right, but here's where we go back to what we said the secret we put in our pocket, and here's why I don't call anybody and be like hey, I'm gonna send you a picture, tell me if I look good or not. Right, we never, as guys, we don't do that, at least for the most part, you know, I'm not speaking for all guys, but for the most part like at least, hey, do I look good? And this is what we do, though, is that we look ourselves in the mirror, before the mirror, and I'm speaking for myself before the mirror. I'm safe, yeah, I feel good, but once I see the picture, I see the mirror, it's my own self that makes me not feel safe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's because now there's someone in the room that judges you.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that's where I was, like you know what, I'm not gonna go talk to anybody, I put it in my pocket, just go back to black and move on my day. But it was me who actually didn't make myself feel safe, and it's one of those things where I guess you can record yourself or take a video of yourself. You feel great. But then when you play it back and look at yourself, oh yeah, yeah, you just took yourself out of that safe. Now you're scared. But the funny part is you made yourself and I think for us that's for men at least it's really hard is like dude, I just like I don't make myself feel safe.
Speaker 1:Well, it's really only if you remove judgment. The problem is that you are your own strictest judge, right, and why are you a judge? Because you have this expectation of what you're supposed to look like, what you're supposed, who you're supposed to be. We're all like, we as men, so many of us expect ourselves to be as successful as Elon Musk, right, as good looking as Brad Pitt.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:As you know, as witty as I don't know, like Joe Rogan, whoever you know, we want to be as witty as the smartest TV host we know. We compare ourselves to standards that lie outside of ourselves. We compare ourselves to what's out there and, of course, all we see are the shortcomings. We see we're too short, too weak, too old, not rich enough. We don't look the way the world wants people to look right now. You know all this, and as soon as you stand in front of a mirror, you're in an echo chamber. That shit comes right back at you, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's why, like for the longest time, I did not have a mirror, not because I was not, not because I don't like mirrors or because I have a problem with them, but I did not want to go through that. You know the short circuit every morning of judging myself. I was just like I'm just going to follow the way I feel. If I felt like wearing jeans, I would wear jeans. If I felt like wearing suit and tie, I would wear a suit and tie. But as soon as I would go in front of the mirror, I would question my own decision. Why? Because the mirror throws back the image at your judge and your judge is like Well, you look like a dumbass. Yeah, what are people going to think when, really, we should not let the judgment come back to us. We should just roll with our guts, we should roll with our intuition. When you have a, when you mind is feeble because of fear, judgment is your real problem. That's the only problem you have. It's really all. It sums up all the problems we have. That's why we get aggressive, that's why we get frustrated, that's why we fall into depression, that's why we start hating ourselves, because we judge ourselves constantly, because we realize we're not good enough. And when we talked about love, we talked about the opposite of that. To say that you are good enough means to stand in front of a mirror, smile at yourself and say, fuck, yeah, I'm good enough. And today I feel like wearing green and that's fucking okay, versus, I don't know, not good enough anymore, gone out the window. And that's where image and self-image kind of collide, because your self-image, your self-image, should always be 100% I'm good, I'm good, but the image on the outside should reflect that. But what the world does with it, let that be their problem. We should really allow for people to have their opinions.
Speaker 1:I know a lot of people take issue with what I say, the fact that I left a very high-paying job and basically walked away from everything and retired to the mountains and grew a beard and changed everything about it. They think I lost it, they think I tripped a fuse and at first I took offense. So I would try to dress, behave and act and say the things and play the part of like no, no, no, I'm good, man, I'm good. But inside I was like, oh no, I'm scared. But then at some point I was like do you know what? I just can't. I can't play a role all my life. I'm not here to play a role that serves the people outside of me. I'm here to be me. If I play a role, it's my own.
Speaker 1:But when it comes to image, it's like we go and dress up in costumes and the most as you said it, carlos, you said it the most popular costume is the neutral one. Don't touch me, I'm stealth, I'm unattainable, I'm good, right. And I think men also have more ways than just dressing up to create that distance, to signal their okayness even though they're not okay. Well, clothing is one thing. I mean, go to LA, go to any bigger city, and watch how men walk, how they walk. Right, I've become really good at reading the gate of people, posture, gesture, you know, nervous gaze, position of shoulders.
Speaker 1:I mean there's always a dead giveaway. There's always a dead giveaway when a man is broken inside but now plays the part of the soldier in his shiny armor, in uniform. You know when this discrepancy happens, this disconnection, you can tell. And as soon as they open their mouth, it's there, it's right there, why? Because all these things what we wear, how we behave, what we say, how we shake hands give away, piece by piece, the truth behind the armor, behind the protection, the layers of protection. And that's what we, as men, we crave to just let go. We crave that, I mean, isn't it so that you don't want to go hanging out with friends and constantly worry? Am I cool enough? Am I still playing the part? Do my people see me as who I want to be seen? Am I still one of them?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, the crazy part about that is that in my younger years I would say in my 20s I did that. But it gets to a point where now you hit 30s and high 30s and gets to a point where you just literally say I'm tired and you start wondering why am I feeling this way? What it really sounds to me, what it is, is that you're tired of pretending to be someone you're not 1,000%.
Speaker 2:You're tired, yeah, like you're not you, and if you're you You'd be surprised. But it's all those younger years You're like you just kept playing that part. Yeah, and you had energy, you were young, you were playing that part, and what's hip and what colors out there, whatever the kids may be. But now, as old as I'm getting, it got to a point where it's just like you're tired. Dude, this is like this shit's getting old, you know, and if you don't let it be known or do something, but talk about it, it's going to kill you.
Speaker 1:We have to let it be known by dropping the layers of protection. We have to let it be known by stopping playing a part, a role that's not ours to play. We have to let it be known by being honest on the stage of the world and show up as ourselves. I think it's our biggest power in terms of as men and as women but I can speak for myself as a man the most power I have when I can enter a room full of people. And here's the thing not give a shit. Because not giving a shit is letting it be known. Because now you show up as yourself, and that's when your true crowd shows and the false crowd goes oh, see what I did there, see what I did there. Yeah, I saw it coming. You split the waters.
Speaker 1:But when you're constantly dressing in black or gray, shades of gray and you're pretending to be this perfect, formulaic human being that is just upper mid average at everything, which is what we tend to do you don't know who's a foe and who's a friend, because everybody's kind of like you, everybody's gray, all your friends are kind of gray. Heck, even your wife turns gray. It's kind of like everything turns OK, but we have to say right here it's OK not to be OK, and not just not OK. It's OK to be great. We should not strive for OK.
Speaker 1:Ok is a bullshit average that our parents and teachers sold to us as just make sure you're OK. Just being OK means wearing that $199 suit from Banana Republic when you feel like wearing shorts. Being OK means to go to a fancy restaurant when you just want to go to a pub and have a burger by yourself when you feel like it. You know, when you feel it, it's your heart telling you, hey, this is what we need. But then we drop it and rather do the things that we think nah, this is what you're supposed to be doing. It's bullshit, it's toxic, it is.
Speaker 2:Kills you. So, like I said in my 20s, 30s and here's one thing at least I can say is that, so many years of doing that, it became a habit where, yes, it's not going to happen overnight, where you can just say fuck it. This is who I am. I mean, I'm asking you, it's steps. We go back to what we were talking about, a guide, Because, yes, I can say, OK, you know what, fuck it this. And that the moment you step out, those bad habits want to get back in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's like it's a constant battle. You're like shit, Like go back and get the black shirt or whatever the case may be. It's just, I want people to understand that this is something that I'm letting it be known, but it's something I've been dealing for a long time and I'm still dealing with it. I mean, I don't want people to think, oh, like, you know, it was easy for him. No, I'm still dealing with it.
Speaker 1:Oh how and I think I'm certain we're going to talk about this in a future episode how hard it is to step through that door, to burn down your wardrobe, to say goodbye to your former gods of the brands, the labels, the things that you hide behind.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I know, just to add to what you just said, I know that up until the age of my late 20s I wore t-shirts with labels on them. It was kind of like my I don't know like subconsciously, it was my sign of reference. I could find my associate with someone, others that were fans of the same brand, or it could also elevate me For those who recognize the value of the brand. Oh, this guy knows what's up. And then suddenly I only wore unicolor shirts, so I distanced myself from a brand image, but the color still was a way to hide that. But I think, as you progress through life, at first you do everything by the book, so you fall for the usual heroes, nike and Adidas and all those things, and then the higher up brands like Louis Vuitton, whatever you have a Hermes belt and whatever your group of people that you associate with considers cool, you go with it. There comes a moment, maybe, hopefully, where you kind of let go of the direct brand associations and now it's more about just an image of not a vague image like color, shape, a certain type of things that you wear. And then at some point you reach what you said, where you're like nah, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of wearing skinny black tie, right, I'm tired of signaling that I'm this successful now at all. That, just you know, serial entrepreneur turns everything into gold type of bullshit.
Speaker 1:Because that's, that's strenuous, right, it takes a toll on you to play a role. It's, it's ask any actor, stage actor they can only do it for so long. One day they can do it for like what? An hour and a half a day max. Yeah, they do that for a couple of weeks or months and then they're toast. They need to recover.
Speaker 1:We do this every day. We do this 24, seven, except when we sleep or when we feel comfortable enough to, just you know, be at home and put our feet on the table and be like, ok, but see, that's the problem, because we're so Unfair to ourselves, because we put ourselves through this hell, we then feel the need to balance it out with toxic shit, like going to the gym and work out for three hours a day, or do drugs, booze, eat crappy foods, go on vacations. They are like not doing shit for us because we're playing again a role. The last time I went to organize vacations you know those resorts, like types I haven't been in a long time, but it struck me yes, you're on vacation, but you're still playing a role. Now you're playing the role of the successful guy who's on vacation. You're still not letting your guards down.
Speaker 2:It's funny to say that because, like you're going on to this resort and I remember years ago when my cousin got married, we went to a resort that was like the first one I went to, all includes everything. It was work to like what Sure Am I going to work? What am I going to? You know, take, should I bring Santa? With a short yes, it was fucking work. Now at the moment I felt like, oh, it's part of the trip, but no, you're right, you were working on. What role do I play when I get there, like so you're not really on a vacay, it's more of like you're still working, but you're working on someone you're trying to be, you're not, you know.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and you know I still catch myself doing that. On the regular I go to a certain restaurant.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And now suddenly I get, you know maybe two minutes of anxiety. Oh my God, am I underdressed, right? Am I dressed for the occasion? And I mean, granted, there is respect. Respect is like you don't go naked out the door, right, because you know you're not being an offensive person. But then we're talking about the other side of the spectrum, where it's like, are you now just turning yourself into a clown? Right, because no one gives a shit. That's just a fact. It is all you, it's your ego. You are feeding your ego, and the ego is what is? The judge that looks back at you when you look into the mirror.
Speaker 1:But you know the ego, and just let me very quickly elaborate on the ego, because I know the ego gets a bad rep. The ego gets dissed for no good reason. The ego is very essential. It's very important to have an ego because ego comes from Latin. It means I, me. It's all. It says. Yeah, it's just a little thing in our minds, tiny little brain region, close to the, our voice region, our, the region that forms words and language, language. It only makes sure that you have a perception of yourself. That's what the ego does. The ego makes it possible for you to be aware of. Like this I am someone, I exist as a person, I'm real. But now the ego is, you know, it's a servant to your mind.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So when your mind is fearful, the ego serves a fearful master, so the fearful ego becomes a fearful I.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So the mind tells the ego, the perception of the self we have to make sure we're okay, we have to make sure we're successful, we have to make sure we survive, we have to make sure that we are the ones winning. So then the ego says All right, man, I gotta be tough, I gotta, I gotta win it all. I gotta look my best. The best part, you know, I gotta. I gotta look the best in that restaurant. I gotta be the one taking the boom, I gotta be the one, you know, winning the prize.
Speaker 2:That's so on point. Exactly how it is every time someone goes out, including myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but if you have a healthy ego, it's not a problem. We going back to the love episode with it. If you come from love, your ego serves love, right? You? You perceive yourself as a loving person. You look at yourself and you're like man, I'm good. I am good. I didn't pack for this occasion, but I'm gonna do the best with it because, you know, what really matters is I'm not offending anyone and if some people think something of me, let that be their problem. Maybe it's an opportunity for conversation. I feel okay. But going to a restaurant wearing the wrong shirt and feeling terrible all night long, you know, caving in, hunting over your plate, feeling like a beat dog right, like a beaten dog, just crumbling. No one should be doing that and it's only you doing it to yourself, because no one's beating you. It's no one's beating you, it's your ego telling you everybody hates you. You should care, because that means that you're the lowest.
Speaker 2:That's crazy, said that because it's like that's all. That's exactly how we feel. The thing is that we don't let it be known. It's always that like secret in your pocket. You just keep to yourself and you ask I mean, you can literally walk up to someone's like, hey, you're right. Oh, yeah, I'm great, I'm great, I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, they're not gonna tell you. It's like man, I don't, I don't know, I feel like I'm undressed, I feel like I'm not me. Like it's funny that someone will tell you if you ask them directly and you try to beat it out of them, but they try to keep it as a secret as much as they possibly can. And that was me, and I'm saying it because that was me. What did?
Speaker 1:they do. Ego does not what the fearful. Even ego does not want to open itself to the world. It does it the all the opposite.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it got to the point. Man, like I said, going back to like just I'm tired and Besides tired it's also affecting other areas of my life as far as maybe not sleeping correctly, kind of just staying too quiet when I get home, thinking too much and it's and it's, and honestly I know for a fact it's a lot of that stuff just throwing it in there, it's all. It's all coming to to the point. So I'm it's getting better the more you we talk about in these episodes and stuff like that. And honestly I tell people it's really helped to talk and you have to let it be known. That's the first step, honestly you know what?
Speaker 1:it strikes me as a beautiful metaphor what you just said. It really helps to talk because, as I said before, the ego is very closely connected to language, right in our mind, the way our mind is set up. So when you force the mind to speak its truth, when you give the mind the space to, you know, liberate itself from the burden, the ego listens.
Speaker 2:Mmm.
Speaker 1:The ego learns. The ego is not evil. The mind is not evil, it's just here to serve you. So when you actually express how you feel about Maintaining a toxic image that makes you sad, that frustrates you, you know, the mind realizes that and the ego listens and they're both kind of like we do that. We're actually doing that. Is this something that we really want?
Speaker 1:And when you voice in a conversation of voice I want to become more conscious of the way I, you know, pervert and twist my truth into becoming the great truth of the world, how I hide behind black layers of clothes, clothing. The mind realizes, yeah, but do you want that? And that's a chance for your heart to say hell, no, hell, no. But then we also have to offer a different perspective and say like, well, what is it that we want? And and the heart always knows, the heart is just like when you go into silence and you face, you know, you face your, your mind, and ask your mind hey, what's going on up there? And the mind says I'm terrified, mortified, petrified, I'm anxious, I Dread being seen as such because. And then you ask the mind Well, why is it that you feel that way? Right, right, I agree. Behind a thought no, I mean behind an emotion lies a thought mmm.
Speaker 1:When you ask your mind, why is it that you judge yourself so harshly when you stand before the mirror, the mind says, well, it's because I think that I'm too fat and too ugly. And then you have to stay on. It be like okay, I see that. Why do you think you're too fat and too ugly? And then the mind will tell you well, because I don't look like this or I don't look like that.
Speaker 2:Exactly right on the spot.
Speaker 1:That's exactly what it goes through a mind and and then you have a chance, because now you can tell the mind. I See that. But that's a whole load, load of bullshit, because who defines what is beautiful and what is ugly? Who defines what is success and what is non success? And the mind will tell you well, it's just the way the world works. It's because those people say it, and that's when you can actually Catch the imposter and say like, oh really, so you believe Something that someone you don't even know Keeps telling you and you make that the basis of your truth, the basis of your thoughts, the basis of your emotions and then the basis of your decisions when you stand in front of the mirror. We don't want that. That's when you have a direct line of communication to your mind. Yeah, you can tell your mind. We're gonna throw that truth right out the window right now. We're gonna say, hey, mind, how about we define Ugly and beautiful? How about we define what success is? How about we right now say that, no, things are perfect the way they are right now, but I would like to work towards something.
Speaker 1:Well, now the mind is like Are you for real? Are you for real? Because we say a lot of things that we don't mean. But you keep doing that. You keep going back to all those stories, traumas, conditionings that live inside of your mind to create that image, I Guarantee you, and that is just the rule of numbers. You do that a couple dozen times. Your mind realizes you're not full of shit and your mind starts to shift and your mind suddenly is like what is beauty? Even? Well, what does it even mean? Right.
Speaker 1:And then the next time you stand before the mirror it's not so clear anymore. You're not against the green anymore, you're kind of like it's kind of cool, right, it's kind of dude, I'm totally gonna go for that, right. Whereas before you were stuck in a loop of like hell, no people gonna hate it, what, what? No, you're not the guy who wears green. And now you suddenly, maybe I am the guy who wears green, maybe I feel like green right now because you have broken the cycle of External influence and you've become your own owner. That's really all it takes. You know, if you tell me that you're tired Playing a role, that's because you don't own yourself. You don't own yourself, you're someone else's puppet. Correct? Owning yourself makes you like I own my wardrobe, I own my decisions, I own my emotions and I own my thoughts boom, you can't just own one out of the.
Speaker 2:You got it on it all.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, there's no picking choose. It's all connected. Yeah, it's all connected from the mind down.
Speaker 2:It's it and it's still broken. Sorry to cut you off, but you're right, I've said yeah, you know I've. I decide on my business, I decide my schedule. But there's way more of owning than just your business, your schedules. There's more like, and this is one of them. If you don't own this part of it, you know it's still, it's not gonna work.
Speaker 1:No, and and this is why, for everybody, everybody out there listening please, please, take this into consideration. Don't hire someone to clean up your wardrobe. Don't hire someone to do a style analysis what should you wear? Don't hire anyone to tell you what to say, how to speak. First go in there into the machine room and clean out house.
Speaker 1:If you don't Get to know yourself and let it be known to yourself and to the world who you are, a style guide's not gonna do shit for you. It's just another layer of paint that's gonna crumble, it's gonna fall off. It's like people living in homes, beautiful homes, but the marriage is broken, the kids hate their parents. But the most amazing furniture, everywhere, wherever you look, it's just a piece of art. You feel like you're in a modern art museum, but you know you can sense it's all just make up bullshit. Don't do that.
Speaker 1:Stop painting over the truth. Stop using cosmetics to create your reality. A bow tie or a tie or a fancy Italian tailored suit will not make a difference. I know it makes a difference to the ego. I know it makes you feel invulnerable and hot. As soon as you take it off, though, everything falls apart. And while you're wearing it, see, your subconsciousness knows you only feel that way because of what you're wearing, not because of who you are. You should feel great because of who you are, and that's all I have to say Any closing words. Carlos, that was a big one.
Speaker 2:It was a big one. It's yes, there's gonna be a battle between you guys, between yourself, but don't assume you're gonna lose the battle. I mean, I'm starting to see that I'm gonna win this battle, and it's a work in progress. It's not gonna happen easy.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I fully fully, I signed that and I subscribed to that. And, yeah, let us know how you feel about. You know your self image and the image that you portray or try to portray in the world. How do you feel about this disconnection? Do you feel it at all, or is it? Is there like a mounting sense of unease or something that you would just like to shake off, just take off and just run around wild and naked? You know, as a person, that you are be honest. Let it be known.
Speaker 1:What are the, what are you know, what are the concessions you can make to yourself to start getting some glimpses of who the person is underneath all these layers of you know suits and ties and whatnot, and get to the real guy underneath. We, as always, you can reach out to us. We leave our contacts on the show notes, leave comments or any ideas or ideas for future episodes, things that you think that we have not touched upon or that we should elaborate on more. As always, we don't have all the answers, but we have almost all the questions.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Well, that's it Carlos, let it be known.
Speaker 2:Let it be known till next time.